it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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