What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize