The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
