Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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