dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
