you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
