There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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