so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
