absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
