I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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