i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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