so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
