the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
