I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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