We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
