Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
