Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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