so explain again why im purple
no
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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