I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
