there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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