I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
