he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
