who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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