Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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