I accidentally had phone sex last night
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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