I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
