And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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