So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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