He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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