a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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