i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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