think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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