I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
