So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
