I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
