apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
