oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Randomize
