? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
