Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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