I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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