after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
