fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Me. At least after what I've been through.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
