but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she looked like the before picture.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
