That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
