it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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