the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
my liver is dry heaving
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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