Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
