im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
