party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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