I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
