see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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