i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
