True but thats because hes a fetus.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
