Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
