you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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