OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
