I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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