Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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