Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize