We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
