We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
