You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
