Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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