I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize