she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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